TA~KE Korean Restaurant Albany, NY

Recently I came back from a trip to New York City where I spent a day eating all sorts of different cuisines from various Asian cultures. I stopped at a few restaurants in Koreatown and was throughly impressed with many of the dishes I tried. I had thought that the only place I would be able to get decent Korean food would be in NYC or some other major city, however, a few days ago I had the pleasure of finding a great place right near my hometown that features a wonderful menu of traditional Korean dishes named TA~KE.

TA~KE is an interesting restaurant concept. Not only do they feature a diverse Korean menu, but they also feature a Japanese sushi bar, as well as a number of Japanese cooking tables. Although I found the mix of the two culturally at odds, the majority of people wouldn't realize that fact and would just enjoy the great food offered by the restaurant. On the day I went, I was looking for Korean cuisine, so I opted out of any of the Japanese dishes. Just to note though, the cooking tables looked great and the fish in the sushi case looked superbly fresh. The restaurant is broken up into two sections, the Japanese cooking table to the room on the right and the main dining room to the left where the Korean menu is served. The room was decorated minimally, with a full-bar and sushi bar to the back of the room. There were a number of flat-screen TVs attached to the upper portions of the walls, which seems to be popular in many Asian restaurants these days.

I was greatly promptly at the door and was brought to a table toward the edge of the room. As I had decided to dine at 3:30 in the afternoon, I was the only person in the dining room and as such was personally waited on by one of the chefs which was an asset to the experience. The menu was very diverse, featuring numerous Korean BBQ dishes, as well as numerous meat and vegetable dishes. There are even a few vegetarian options for those of the herbivore persuasion. The menu was printed in both Korean and English which is always a good sign as it means Koreans in the area are likely dining here on a regular basis. Although I knew many of the dishes on the menu, I opted for the chefs suggestion with a note that I love traditional Korean cuisine and love the spicy stuff.

He suggested I go with the traditional pork BBQ, as it would give me a chance to try not only the BBQ, bot also a variety of kimch'i that they make in house, along with some other vegetable side-dishes. Each meal comes with a bowl of miso soup, although an odd beginning for a Korean meal, as this restaurant was a fusion of Japanese cuisine and Korean cuisine in one room, that said the soup was very good. The entree was traditionally set in front of me, with pieces of sliced highly-seasoned pork, grilled with peppers and some other vegetables and served on a sizzling hot sizzle platter. Appropriately placed to the back of the sizzling meat were two types of cabbage kimch'i, then to the right a pickled bean sprout salad and shredded Korean radish. The traditional lettuce leaves for putting all the ingredients in were also on the table, along with a small bowl of steamed short-grain rice.

To eat Korean BBQ, you take any desired amount of the ingredients and put them into a lettuce leaf, roll it up and eat it sort of like a poorly wrapped burrito. The food was utterly amazing, on par with some of the better Korean food I have had in major cities. I wish I could've had a personal hibachi to cook my BBQ at the table, but this was the next best thing, I'll save the personal cooking for my next trip to NYC.

My service was great, very personable and added to the experience. The chef waiting on me was from Korea and was excited to talk to me about the food and even brought me out some other types of kimch'i to try. I would go back here in a heart beat. The entrees are all under $20.00 with a number of them close to the $10.00 mark. I look forward to being a regular at TA~KE Restaurant.

TA~KE Restaurant
500 Northern Blvd.
Albany, NY

Phone: 518-465-5511

Website: none

Shopping for Produce in Upstate New York

Among the many challenges of moving back to New York has been the inability to find decent produce. Having moved to Saratoga Springs from Boston, I was used to having Whole Foods Market, Trader Joes as-well-as the local farmer's markets in Boston and Cambridge. Let's also not forget that I could stop into the North End on a weekly basis to pick up my borrata cheese (fresh mozzarella with cream inside), Italian charcuterie and then go off to Cambridge to Formaggio Kitchen for some specialty produce like framboise from France, hundreds of cheeses from all over the world. Gotta say I miss the joys of Super 88 as well, an Asian supermarket that is the size of most generic supermarkets, but this one also comes with a full variety of Asian fast food stalls in front as well. Let's call it an Asian food court of sorts, which really doesn't do it justice.

So what do we have in upstate New York? Our main grocery store is Price Chopper. Now Price Chopper isn't a bad grocery store. Some locations are better than others, so consistansy of product offerings can be spotty. They are a local company, out of Schenectady, NY and as such it seems they limit themselves to what they think the local market is used to. Once in awhile exotic ingredients pop up, but honestly is daikon, key lime, ugli fruit, or plantain all that exotic? Their selection of organic produce is limited to the most common ingredients like bell peppers, tomatoes, zucchini and the sort all from a mass production California farm, to me this is one step away from what Wal-Mart is going to do, buy organic produce from China. I have to say though, over the years they have improved, but I think there is quite a bit more room to improve as well.

Hannaford has worked a little harder at making an effort to offer organics and "whole" foods to their consumers by offering a full section that is quite substantial to their customers. Price Chopper has this section in some stores as well, but it is in some stores, not all and in many the section is hidden while Hannaford places the section is extreme prominence in the center of the store or in a section all guests will readily see it. Additionally Hannaford's organic produce is a bit more substantial and labeled well. This may be part of the reason that Hannaford has been certified as an organic grocery store which it shares along with Whole Foods, but they certainly are not at the same level yet. Again though, like Price Chopper, Hannaford's organic produce is the California factory-farmed produce.

Major differences, Whole Foods is clean, it is ALWAYS clean. Hannaford, at least not all of their stores can state this. Trader Joe's is extremely inexpensive, they sell a large variety of organic foods and they are often as inexpensive as most generic grocery store's sale items. The people who work at Whole Foods are extremely excited, happy to be working there (or at least act that way) and are very knowledgeable. I can not tell you how often I go into a Price Chopper or Hannaford and I have to listen to cashiers and employees bitch about their lives and their jobs, just on a whole unprofessional.

So what are the other options, well luckily we have great great farms in this area. We even have a large number of farmer's markets with some of them being year round. The Saratoga Springs' market held at High Rock is a particular joy, and I have heard wondrous things about both the Troy, NY market and even the Albany and Schenectady markets. There is even one in Ballston Spa where one of my fellow chef instructor's daughters displays her wondrous produce. So there is one great option, as long as you are willing to go with their schedules.

I've also been told that there are a number of local farms producing high quality goat meat, chickens and eggs. What is still lacking however is the style of Italian markets found in most major cities, or even just meat markets and seafood markets in general. Yes yes, many will tell me that we have Cousins market in Albany, and no I don't find them all that great honestly. Good enough, is not great and I find them as a whole to be good enough. They get the generic stuff in and if you really want anything Im sure they will get it for you, and charge you up the nose for it as well, and you also can't just buy one or two fillets or small fish either, not a good option for a single person like myself.

So what do I do if I want a special piece of fish, or high quality prosciutto, cheese or otherwise? Do I need to order it from some far reaching producer who will charge me an absurd price, not to mention shipping costs which I have done and won't do again, not worth the price. For now I think the answer is to stick to the local farms, I belong to one local community supported agriculture farm at the moment and will be joining my work colleagues' daughter's farm soon as well (just need to write the check).

We also have a few co-ops and green grocery stores in the area. I shop at the Green Grocer in Clifton Park, NY. In Saratoga Springs, NY there is a smaller shop on Phila Street called Four Seasons while in Albany they have the Honest Weight Food Co-Op which many of my friends have raved about, but I have yet to make it to.

I have also found that there is a Whole Foods Market 77 miles from me in Hadley, Ma so perhaps every other week I may drive out there to pick up better meats, fish and other items which I can not attain locally as most of the "higher quality meats in the co-ops seem to be sold frozen, not fresh.

We all need to do our effort to preserve real food, otherwise we will all be eating generic mass marketed foods with no taste or flavor. One has to worry when Wal-Mart and Target make the claims that they plan to be the largest sellers of organic and whole foods. As much as I have disdained much of the snobbery of the localvore and other movements, I see what many of them are going for i just wish they didn't "preach" so much so that others would find the concept more appealing. I am going to list a number of local farmer's markets in the Capital district area of New York below for anyone who may be interested in seeking them out for themselves.


Farmer's Markets in the Capital District of New York

Capital district Farmer's Market
CAPITAL DISTRICT COOPERATIVE, INC.
381 Broadway
Menands, New York 12204

Troy Farmer's market
Hedley Park Place, on River St in Troy, NY
Every Saturday from 9am to 1pm.

Saratoga Farmer's Market
Saratoga Springs
Summer Market: May - October
Wednesday, 3:00pm-6:00pm
Saturday, 9:00am-1:00pm
High Rock Ave.

Winter Market: November - April
Saturday, 9:00am-1:00pm
Salvation Army Building,
Woodlawn Ave.

Clifton Park
July - October
Thursday, 2:00pm-5:00pm
St. George's Church parking lot,
Rte. 146 - 1 miles W. of I-87 Exit 9

Bar Boulud a Brasserie in New York City

Oh how I do love my charcuterie, on a recent trip to New York City I had the chance to imbibe in some of the best charcuterie I have had in years. Bar Boulud is one of Daniel Boulud's newest restaurant in New York City that specializes in classical brasserie cuisine in a casual environment. On the day I went, we arrived early so we were the first people in the dining room. It was clear after an hour though, that if we had not mad a reservation we would of been waiting at the door for quite some time as the restaurant filled up quickly and a crowd was soon gathered at the door waiting for open tables.

The entrance the the restaurant is simple, a full glass windowed wall, with a barrel sign with the name of the restaurant on it. After going through two heavy glass doors we were welcomed by a beutiful restaurant, narrow but with considerable depth to the room. There are a number of traditional tables in the front of the dining room with a long bay of booths running the length of the dining room. Toward the back of the room was a large round communal table with a wine display in the center. To the left of the dining room is a charcuterie bar where diners can sit in front of the impressive selection of charcuterie with the chefs and cooks working behind. On the left wall above the booths are a number of framed wine stains each labeled from which bottle of wine they came from, all very impressive wines.

The menu is very classical brasserie cuisine which seems hot right now in the restaurant scene. Classics like Croque Monsieur (grilled ham and greyure cheese with bechamel), Boudin Blanc, Boudin Noir (blood sausage), Frisee Lyonnaise (frisee salad with bacon lardons, sourdough croutons, chicken liver and poached egg), Steak Frites, along with an impressive variety of charcuterie.

The charcuterie may be ordered individually with selection like Pate Grand-Mere, Lapin De La Garrigue (pulled rabbit and vegetable terrine), Fromage de Tete (head cheese terrine), Compote De Joue De Boeuf (shredded slow-braised beef cheek with onion confit and pistachio), Terrine de Poularde Au Citron et Coriandre (chicken terrine with lemon and cilantro), amongst others. The selection is slightly larger for dinner than is available for lunch. If you want to try a little of everything there are two options for a Degustation de Charcuterie, the small offering is $22 while the large selection is $46. Traditional accompaniments come along with the charcuterie, selections included carrots with coriander, beets with horseradish, celery root and apple remoulade, and potatoes with fennel and olives.

To round out the menu is a beutiful assortment of cheeses offered in a selection of three ($14), five ($21), or seven ($28). The dessert selection is classic French as well with a selection of petit fours ($8), Floating Islands ($8), and a selection of pastries like the classical Gateau Basque. There is also a selection of in-house made ice creams and a tropical fruit salad for those watching the calories, but if you are eating here why go for fruit, just make the sacrifice and try something truly amazing like the petit fours and Gateau Basque like we did.

I obviously tried the charcuterie, which was amazing. We also went with the Boudin Noir and Boudin Blanc, both very light in texture and perfect in flavor. It was truly hard to just go with the selection we did but it was lunch and there were more meals planned for later in the day. The wine list is simple but with exquisite selections. The only draw back to the meal might be the prices, but honestly you pay for what you get. The total meal with two glasses of wine each came to about $200 with tip, worth every penny or dollar I should say. I will certainly be back to Bar Boulud again.

Bar Boulud Website

Telephone 1-212-595-0303

1900 Broadway (between 63rd and 64th)
New York, NY 10023

Brunch: Saturday-Sunday 11:00am - 2:30pm
Lunch: Monday-Friday Noon - 2:30pm
Dinner: Sunday 5:00pm - 10:00pm
Monday-Thursday 5:00pm - 11:00pm
Friday & Saturday 5:00pm - Midnight

Late Night Charcuterie and Cheese Menu
Friday & Saturday Midnight - 1:00am
Sunday 10:00pm - 11:00pm

Chez Pierre Restaurant

In my last blog I talked about being impressed by a restaurant that has been open for over 30 years, but the results of the meal were not hot. Yesterday though, I went to a restaurant in Ganesvorrt, NY just outside of Saratoga Springs that has been open for 44 years and I had one a meal that showed the positive side of 44 years of experience.

Chez Pierre is a classical French restaurant that certainly makes no apoligies for being old-school French. The dishes remind one of French cuisine promoted in Escoffier's Le Guide Culinaire. If you want to remember the haute cuisine that I love, you must go here.

Located off of route 9 in Ganesvoort, NY Chez Pierre is an easy restaurant to get to. For some it may be too far out of Saratoga, but on the Friday night I went in, it was obvious that the location was not an issue to many as after 7 pm the place was packed. The restaurant is located in a cute mid-size building with a small Eiffel tower outside to let the diners know where to stop when driving by.

The dining room was quaint, nothing ultra modern, kinda plain maybe a little dated but perhaps some might say the cuisine is as well but I also love that about this place. It screams "local French bistro." Make sure you watch out for the floor when you walk in, there are multiple levels that could trip you up as it did to me.

The dining room was covered in white linen with pink cloth napkins and antique -type etched crystal water glasses. The bar seemed very classic French, one might think that Van Gogh was going to come sit next to you with a bottle of Absinthe. Sadly, the bar did not have any Pastis, which is the modern legal version of Absinthe, just without the wormwood.

As mentioned, the menu is very old-school French. Escargots with garlic and herbs, Beef Wellington, Veal Oscar, Tournados Henri IV, Chateaubriand, Steak Diane, Frogs Legs Provencal, Couquille Saint Jacques, Supreme De Poulet "Valdostana", Paupiette de Veau, Filet of Sole Marguery, and I could continue with dishes that excited me.

With our bread was delivered a nice slice of Pate Grand Mere. A nice pork terrine with liver added to it. It had a good texture to it and a wonderful flavor. The bread seemed a bit "white breadish, not very classical baguette in my opinion. The accompaniment of packaged crackers detracted from the quality of the bread course to me as well.

It was really hard for me to choose what to order. I wanted frog's legs and escargot, but my dining companion didn't want either, so I we got the Couquille Saint Jacques and the escargot, both were by-God amazing. The escargot came in these small ceramic mock snail shells and the Couquille was served in an actual scallop shell with some beautiful swiss cheese browned on top.

For entree, I went with the Paupiette de Veau, (veal pounded out thin and rolled with cheese and ham). Cooked perfectly and served with a beautiful sauce. A bit heavy for a summer night, as were most items on the menu, but one does not goto this restaurant to eat seasonally, you dine here to eat the food of La Varenne, Antoine Careme and Escoffier. The sides were orange glazed carrots which were perfectly cooked until soft and Potato Dauphinoise. Both sides were very flavorful.

If that was not enough, I had to go for dessert, I usually don't go for the basic desserts like chocolate mousse, but if there was a place to get mousse, this was it, it was phenomenal, like airy and rich with chocolate and lacking in graininess. My espresso was served in a percolator, it was disappointing, cold and as such lacking in flavor. The Grand Marnier at the end of the meal made up for the espresso though.

Our server was great, it was obvious she had been working there for some years and knew her stuff. The service was a bit slow at times in the meal as the room was packed and they were a little understaffed, but the timing didn't make me uncomfortable, she preformed well for the issues dealt to her.

If there was to be a restaurant in the area I live in now that I had a standing order for a weekly dining reservation, this would be the place. It made me feel like I was at a local French restaurant that I should know everyone's name as well as their family member's names. I may not be back weekly, but I will certainly be a regular.

Website - http://www.chezpierrerestaurant.com/

Hours - Serving Dinner Tuesday - Friday, 5:30pm - 10:00pm
Saturday, 5:00pm - 10:00pm
and Sunday 5:00pm - 9:00pm
Racing Season Schedule - 7 Days, 5:00pm - 10:00pm

Chez Pierre Restaurant
979 Route 9
Gansevoort NY, 12831
(518) 793-3350 or (800) 672-0666
Email: chezpierre_12831@yahoo.com

Hiro's Japanese Restaurant In Albany, NY

It's not often one sees a restaurant that has been around for thirty-plus years. It is even less often one sees a Japanese restaurant around for that long, but there is one in Albany, NY that has the unique distinction. Hiro's Japanese Restaurant on Central Avenue is a main-stay that has been brining in patrons far and wide from the New York Capital District since 1972.

I have driven by this restaurant for many years and I am ashamed to say that I have only recently taken the time to go in for a meal. Seeing the restaurant from the road I have always remembered people telling me that I needed to have reservations in order to visit so I think this kept me at bay. I just happened to be driving by this past week and decided on a whim to stop by when I saw the "open" light on.

Having an early dinner is usually odd to me, even on a Sunday, but on this particular day dinner was to be had at 3:00pm which luckily was their opening time on Sundays which is a great thing for an early dinner or a late lunch. Their sign upon entering also stated that they serve lunch Tuesday-Saturday earlier in the day.

We were greated by a nice young lady who asked us if we were interested in the dining room or the cooking table. I had not known this, but Hiro's not only serves traditional sushi, but they also feature two Teppanyaki tables. Teppanyaki for the uninitiated is what many refer to as a habaci grill. It is pretty much a large flat-top grill where a "chef" puts on a show for the crowd. If you have ever seen a Bennihana, you have seen this style of cookery. As for myself I get little joy or excitement from watching this show-over-flavor American version of Japanese cookery, so we opted for a regular table.

The building and dining room have started to show their age a little bit and sitting near a window seat gave me a bit of a chill. I was a little put off by the vacuum cleaner that one of the servers kept trying to run when we first came in, but one of the other servers, probably more seasoned kept trying to stop him.

The menus at first look were nice, but limited compared to what is offered at many of the numerous Japanese restaurants now found in the Capital District. As with my personal tradition, I decided to order a couple cooked items from the (stained) menu as appetizers and go with a sushi/sashimi combination dinner. An interesting offering is the personal choice to add a multi-course experience to the meal. I suppose to some this might seem like an "extra" but in most Japanese restaurants these days this "option" is part of any dinner entree one might order. Usually one gets a crisp greens salad with a ginger dressing and miso soup and a piece of orange. This option included that, along with pork katsu and green tea ice cream.

The first appetizer was mushroom terriyaki, a dish of button mushrooms stir-fried with terriyaki sauce. Not all that exciting, but not bad. It could of had a variety of mushrooms, especially shitakes or something else in the Japanese realm along with some ginger/garlic and some green onions, instead of leaves of iceberg lettuce.

The second appetizer was a vegetable tempura, at first glance it was attractive, the batter looked light but then I took a few bites. The broccoli had a large amount of raw batter inside, and all of the pieces were pretty greasy which is odd for tempura. The final appetizer was stir-fried spinach with bonito flakes which I actually enjoyed except the portion size was absurdly small.

The pork katsu arrived next, it was nice in contrast to the other appetizers. Very crispy exterior with a contrasting softness of onions and pork on the interior. The sauce on the outside was a nice contrast to the fried texture. Again, presentation took a side seat here with the katsu sitting on a piece of iceberg lettuce. Perhaps some shredded shiso or daikon radish may of added to the dish.

The miso soup was OK, generic and lacking in the normal bites of tofu or shitake I am used to, there was however some wakame seaweed present. The salad was truly unexciting as it was a combination of shredded lettuce, celery, cucumber and a chunk of iceberg lettuce with an odd watery dressing on top.

My entree as I mentioned earlier was a sushi/sashimi combo. Four pieces of sushi along with 2 pieces of salmon sashimi, 2 pieces of tuna sashimi, 2 pieces of mackerel sashimi, and a piece of nondescript white fish along with a tuna roll. The fish was very fresh, the rice was properly cooked. The presentation was a bit plain but was not unappealing, again some shredded daikon or shiso would've been a nice touch instead of batons of cucumber and is pink pickled ginger popular anymore? The white ginger without coloring seems to be the more popular way to go over the odd looking pink stuff. My dining partner had the Salmonyaki, I'm guessing Salmon Terriyaki. It seemed very over cooked, again sitting on a bed of iceberg lettuce. Someone surely must have stock in iceberg lettuce in this place.

A great end to the meal though was the green tea ice cream, which ever brand Hiro's purchases should be purchased by everyone else in the area that serves it. The green tea they offered was hot and flavorful as well. A request for bottled water during the meal gained an odd look and a glass of tap water was brought to the table. In a day when there are so many warnings about drinking tap water thee should be the option, not to mention a loss of potential revenue for the restaurant for such a simple item to carry.

My server was excellent, she was attentive and cheerful. She had a smile on her face the entire time and any requests were fulfilled quickly. The woman behind the sushi bar who I assumed to be the owner came over and said hello to us and thought we were someone else from a local newspaper who ironically just happened to give a review for the restaurant a couple weeks ago.

The prices weren't all that bad for the average Japanese restaurant. Two people, with three appetizers (very small however) along with two entrees, soup, salad, pork katsu appetizer and ice cream came up to just around 75.00 with tip. It may seem a little high for lunch in the Capital District but sushi/ sashimi is always expensive no matter where you go and although the appetizers were a bit small, it was still quite a bit of food.


Hiro's Japanese Restaurant

1933 Central Ave
Albany, NY 12205

(518) 456-1180

Reservations suggested, especially for the teppanyaki tables as they only have two.

Hours: Lunch, 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m., Tuesday through Friday. Dinner, 3 to 9 p.m. Sunday, 5 to 9:30 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday, 5 to 10:30 p.m. Friday and 4:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Saturday; closed Monday.

Boy That is Some Funky Food Mr.

I'm sitting here watching No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain on the Travel Channel right now. He is in China and eating some Peking duck and it just reminds me how much I miss going to China Town in New York City. There is nothing like seeing those golden brown lacquered ducks hanging in the window in the temperature danger zone, sometimes you just have to say screw the rules and go for the good stuff. For any of my students who may be reading this, you will be tested on my lectures and the text not my personal food rants.

I have had the opportunity to eat a number of "odd" foods in my lifetime, Turkey Fries (fried turkey testicles) when I cooked out in Yosemite, along with alligator meat for the same event. I've also cooked Kangaroo, Elk, Bison, Reindeer, Wild Boar, Bear, Ostrich, Wild Duck, Rabbit, Hare, Suckling Pig, Rattlesnake and I'm sure some others I can't recall right now. I will say I am glad I have never had to cook any insects, but I have had the chance to eat some.

There is a couple shops in Chinatown in NYC that sell candies made from insects. My first introduction to this odd sort of candy was from baby candied crabs which wasn't too odd (when I had ingested large amounts of alcohol) but became odd to me the next day ironically. Imagine stopping into one of the less "western" shops in NYC and seeing fried worms, maggots and other insect things. You thought these things only showed up on Andrew Zimmerman's show, but you can find them in NYC as well. I however have forgotten the shops these "foods" were contained in.

Lucky for all of you that ummmm care to try bugs, I am going to New York City on Friday in an effort to find this shop. To balance out this trip I also happen to be going to Bar Boulud for lunch to research some modern charcuterie and then I am going to WD-50 for dinner so that I can eat some fun new-styled food by chef Wylie Dufresne, that funky chef judge guy on Top Chef last week.

So I hope to have some picture for you guys after this weekend of some creepy crawly foods. For those of you for a different adventure I will make sure to take my camera into WD-50 and Bar Boulud. I wish I had more time actually to stop into Dim Sum Go-Go but that might have to wait until next time.

Cooking And Dating: A Guy’s View In the Kitchen (From NY Times)

I was looking up something on the net and came across this article from the New York Times published in 1996. It reminded me oh so much about years of dating women who got nothing about my obsession with cooking and it was nice to read an article by someone who shared my disdain for women who have an ambivalence for food. I have a hard time dating anyone who doesn’t at least somewhat share my obsession for food and cuisine. Until I find that person, I’ll remain the table of one so as to no longer undergo the experiences as described below, enjoy.

Cooking And Dating: A Guy’s View In the Kitchen

By JOHN KIFNER

Published: January 17, 1996

COOKING GUYS are different from Young Women.

This is a much remarked-upon phenomenon, the Mars-Venus stuff, and one which causes considerable difficulty for Guys, although probably also for Young Women. But what until now has not been fully understood, by this Guy, anyway, is how this concept applies to a particularly, and unexpectedly, treacherous area: cuisine.

There are Guys who have reached a state of evolution, sometimes what’s called a certain age, at which they are real foodies. We are talking about having more knives than the Turkish army, and sharper; keeping the Larousse Gastronomique at hand to check references; settling down in the easy chair of an evening to browse through "The New Professional Chef," the cookbook of the Culinary Institute of America, and owning pots and pans in the exact size and composition for each task (cast iron, enamel-clad cast iron, copper-lined with a combination of zinc and tin, Calphalon, and so on).

Such Guys view food as a celebration of life, an art form, an expression of warm feelings, a precious gift and offering. A fully objective analysis would also disclose what the military calls collateral effect: this could impress babes.

Some Young Women, it seems, view food as a hostile entity whose sole intent is to produce fat on their thighs.

What we have here is a hidden discontinuity.

In large part, this is due to the fact that Guys approach food as they do most things. Like, for example, war. Or its corollary, sports. When a Guy starts cooking, he wants to be the Joe Montana of mousse, the Michael Jordan of julienne, the Cal Ripken Jr. of roasting. I mean, this is serious stuff.

Consider the following.

A Guy is having dinner with a Young Woman, nice place. She is suspiciously poking a fork at the goo on her pan-roasted free-range chicken with garlic and rosemary. What he is not noticing is that she is herding it into concealment under a radicchio leaf.

"It’s not bad for something based on a roux," the Guy casually notes. "Personally, I would prefer to do it as a reduction sauce."

Reduction, what, the Young Woman is thinking. The gravy is on sale?

So, now having craftily insinuated that he can cook, the Guy is gratified when the Young Woman innocently suggests that perhaps, sometime, he might like to make dinner for her. He is saying to himself, "Heh, heh."

Indeed, as the great M. F. K. Fisher noted of bachelors, in "An Alphabet for Gourmets" in 1949, "The wonderful dinners they pull out of their cupboards with such dining room aplomb and kitchen chaos" demonstrate that "their approach to gastronomy is basically sexual."

For some reason, on the appointed day, the Korean market on the corner has stocked a couple of boxes of currants, almost never seen, among the standard raspberries and strawberries. Currants, cassis, making the connections, remembering a meal in Paris, a magret of duck, sliced in an arc, a piquant cassis sauce.

"If there are currants on the market," the predatory chef says as they come out of the subway at Broadway and 79th Street, "perhaps we’ll do a magret."

A what? The French detective?

Right, currants still there. Down Broadway, to Citarella at 75th Street, where there are approximately 700,000 carnivores shrieking to be fed. The Guy takes No. 127 from the ticket machine and elbows into poultry position. Half an hour later, the Young Woman’s eyes are rolling around like marbles. Finally, a breast of duck, fresh from the Hudson River Valley, is secured. This is a monster hunk of meat; these ducks must be the size of Great Danes.

Back uptown, quick into a gourmet mart to paw through the herb box for fresh rosemary. None. Never mind, Broadway Farm, on Broadway by 85th Street, is sure to have it. What, no cassis vinegar at Zabar’s? Well, there should be an old bottle in the cupboard. The first Korean market has most necessities, but the one further up always has shelled peas, which go with the rosemary, and fabulous teensy-weensy little haricots verts. By now, they have walked 15 blocks, in a driving rainstorm, accumulating grocery bags. What kind of a loon is this? the Young Woman is thinking. He can’t buy everything in one grocery store? The Guy is scooping up a gnarly knob a little bigger than a softball.

"What’s that?" the Young Woman asks in alarm. "That thing is ugly."

"Celery root, what the French call celeriac," the Guy explains, grabbing a bunch of containers of heavy cream and a brick of unsalted butter.

The cooking technique the magret requires is to basically fry the living daylights out of it, to get rid of the fat, but the meat winds up pink. Copper saute pan, bought years ago from Dehillerin, the terrific restaurant supply store in Paris by the old Les Halles. Patricia Wells goes there to treat herself when she’s finished a cookbook. Pat Wells? Probably the only American to be a regular on French television as an expert on French food. The thing is, the cooking duck releases huge quantities of fat, which must be constantly siphoned off with a basting tube.

"Fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-t," the Young Woman observes. It was truly amazing, the Guy would reflect later, how many syllables could fit into a three-letter word, particularly when spread over six octaves.

"Right, ducks are real fat," he agrees amiably. "That’s how they can float in icy water."

The duck is working. The Guy deglazes the pan with the cassis vinegar and then throws in the berries. A big glob of butter into a frying pan with the fresh rosemary to finish the peas after a 1-minute, 37-second boil. O.K., the celeriac. And the food processor, the original, the real thing, the Robot-Coupe, used in French restaurants but later deracinated. Hardly anybody knows that. Celery root, some turnip, touch of mustard, big pour of cream for the texture. Yeah, cream; throw in some more.

"What are you doing?" the Young Woman asks.

Dimly, somewhere back in the far Neanderthal reaches of the Guy’s brain, there is a tingling. These are the old synapses, the innate instincts that over the eons have warned Guys of the approach of saber-toothed tigers, bosses and ex-girlfriends. Danger lurks.

"Celery, this is celery," the Guy explains urgently. "Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, that’s all they eat, celery."

"Not like that," the Young Woman replies, with considerable accuracy.

So, O.K. Guys get obsessive. But be fair; there are two sides to this.

The other side is the ambivalence with which the modern Young Woman views food. Above all, there is the question of appearances, and we’re not just talking about thighs. The Young Woman is trying to be thin to be pleasing, and the Guy is force-feeding her like a goose being raised for its liver. There are actual documented cases in which Young Women have delicately picked at a perfectly good meal in public, then sneaked home to gorge on junk food.

This ambiguity almost inevitably manifests itself when a Young Woman tells a Cooking Guy that her favorite foods come from something called "The Moosewood Cookbook," which strangely appeals to many otherwise admirable women. This is not a book about food. It is about vegetables. This book is not even printed in print. It is tricked up to look as if it has been handwritten to give you a warm icky feeling, instead of an actual meal.

Mentioning "Moosewood" is the culinary equivalent of a Young Woman giving a Guy the Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel "A Hundred Years of Solitude" so that he can really get in touch with his emotions. Again, a well-meaning gesture, but one that is fundamentally misinformed. If Guys were truly in touch with their emotions, particularly those whose nature is to be nasty, brutish and short, they would go around punching people out. It has taken centuries of being repressed to get this far. Don’t mess with something when it’s just starting to work. Guys have nothing against vegetables. Vegetables have their place. It is right next to the meat.

There is a way out of this dilemma, expressed in the old Hegelian dialectic of thesis, antithesis, synthesis: Call out for Chinese.